I want a girl like Doctor Doom’s

or any other genius super-villain.

I wouldn’t leave her to the atomic blast

just to kill the hero too,

nor leave the world a nuclear wasteland

to give us an excuse to love alone.

I can’t promise eccentric robots

or the thrill of death surrounding;

I’ve not explored the microverse,

nor made leviathans of clay and magic.

But I’ve less failures on my CV,

have committed less atrocities,

and I’m not hunted by omnipotents,

looking down from orbit with super-vision.

I can be cruel and short-sighted,

downright obsessed with ambitious dreams,

untrustingly demanding with wounded heart

lithe unflinching loyalty wrapped in spandex,

but I’m no cackling super-villain

who’d hide his love behind a plate

or take the world and not the girl,

loyal, loving, tolerant by his side.

Forget the wonderful toys –

where do they get these wonderful girls?

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