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CLOSE / Parnassiad

Peace and Other Stories

Fragments of a Formerly Active Sex Life

This body I give, she says,
by Julian X  /  poetry  /  23 Apr 2008

This body I give, she says,

has nothing to do with me,

is not me, is nothing.


I, she says, you cannot touch,

you cannot fuck, you cannot

see or possess or penetrate


the way you do this body,

this thing I see in the mirror

that is not me.


And yet she knows that men

want that thing-not-her,

and that it pleases them --


and more, that they think they can

touch or fuck or penetrate.

They do not -- in some corner of their mind


cannot, cannot understand

that it is not me they possess:

that men cannot, that no one can possess


another -- and certainly not

with such ease,

not with some tool of their biology.


And yet, she knows how much

men treasure the illusion,

how much -- how desperately much


it means to them.

You can see it in their eyes,

those frightful, puppy dog eyes


when you say yes.

The body, the tits and ass,

means nothing to her, is not


even her -- and yet she knows

without comprehending

how much it means to me


and it is her delight to give,

to see my delight,

to see how much I treasure


this thing I can possess, can claim

in lieu, perhaps,

of her.

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Letters to Aphrodite:
I Want to Fuck like 9/11
Yes, Angel
This body I give, she says,
I returned from the wars sixteen years ago
femme sans assez d’espace
Rodrigo and Cesare Borgia
Death raped her,
Blind men still care for their women’s beauty.
I've never come as hard as when
Indian Statue #2